Wednesday, May 20, 2009

For the Non-Navy Folks

Dear Non-Military Affiliated People,

In the process of telling people Chad is coming home (because I was unsure of the date until about 10 days ago) this is what I heard... "wow, really, that was fast,"  or "he wasn't gone long" or "that flew by, he just left."  Insert BIG SIGH right here. 

We, Navy people, don't say such things to each other because whether it is a week or a 12 month deployment, it is always hard.  

The comments are innocent and I never usually respond when they are said and I know the person that said them meant no harm.  But I thought I would take this chance to explain that these past 6 weeks DID NOT fly by.  

Let's just say I have a new profound respect for single parents.  Over these past 6 weeks our lawn mower broke, Bailey had possible bone cancer, all of our Mastercards (including my debit card) were canceled because of possible fraud, Chad's car needed some major repairs, babysitters canceled on me, Bailey barfed a lot, Chloe's reflux came back with full force and lots more on top of the regular chores and requirements it takes to patiently and lovingly parent a 1 year old who doesn't sleep well. 

So do as my friend did and say "wow, that flew by"  then follow it up with "but probably not for you."  

Thanks for hearing me out,


  1. Yeah, without knowing the person or the whole story, I'm sure they were trying to be empathetic, but you still receive comments like that with a big sigh. It's evident that they've never really experienced what it's like to manage a whole household, a baby, pets, etc. for a week, a month, or six months...any period, especially since that's EXACTLY when our ole pal "Murphy" likes to get involved as you so adequately pointed out.

    The best thing to tell a military spouse when their husband is due back is...FINALLY!!! I know you must be excited! :)

  2. Oops! I just posted accidently as Chris...and this makes it twice. Sorry! :)


  3. FINALLY, Chad is coming home!:-) Jason was gone for 6 weeks last September and I was a wreck. I have the utmost respect for all of you military wives/moms!

  4. Well said, well said, indeed! If only I had a dime for every time someone said something like, " Two months? Oh, that's not so bad." No, people, it is bad. Does not matter if it is two days, two weeks, etc.,- we carry a household on our backs and foresake anything for ourselves constantly. Granted, we married into this, but you cannot know it until you live it. And usually we cannot even call them at the end of the day to say, wow, my day stunk.
    But at least we have each other.... :)